During times when we are struggling, experiencing loss, trying to address injustice and overcome division, it is more important than ever to cultivate joy. I am so grateful for the people in my life who exude joy. They are important reminders to me that deep abiding joy is readily available if I choose it and cultivate it. One of the most joyful women I know is a woman in prison. I have had the privilege of companioning her in soul care for many years. There is a light that seems to shine from within her. No matter what is going on when I ask her how she is, her first response is always, “Blessed. I’m Blessed.” It is out of this sense of blessedness that she is able to address the pain in her circumstances.
Happiness and Joy are very different. It’s probably good to remind ourselves of that. Happiness is an emotion. It comes and goes pretty much based on external circumstances. It’s a great feeling that we like, but it doesn’t really help us grow or even endure in challenging situations. When we experience grief, suffering, frustration, failure, injustice, or just about any challenging circumstance, the happiness dissipates.
Joy is a choice. It is a deliberate, intentional practice and behavior. Joy companions us through hardship and trials. It connects us with meaning and purpose. It is an attitude of the heart that can share space with other emotions. Joy makes it possible to grieve without becoming overwhelmed by the grief. It makes it possible to confront injustice and division while remaining grounded, compassionate, and true to oneself. Joy is a transformative reservoir freely available within all of us if we choose to cultivate it. Joy transforms difficult times into blessings. It gives meaning and LIFE to life.
So how do we cultivate joy? Here are some of my thoughts. I’m open to hearing from you. I’ve learned the following commitments from joyful people in my life as well as from my own spiritual journey:
Sabbath space is important. This means leaving time in my day and in my week that is unplanned. Time for noticing, for wonder, for reflection, and for meditation. Time spent in nature as well as regular time to reflect and meditate. My best teachers have been my grandchildren.
Nurturing strong relationships. Quality relationships—those that build us up, encourage us, and challenge us not only feed our souls, but they become transformative for our world. I have a special commitment to grandparenting, and I’ll let you in on some advance news. On Saturday, July 16 from 9-10:30 a.m. Restoring Connections is offering a free workshop, Grandparents and Grandchildren Healing the World. Watch for the email on Tuesday.
Stretching physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As I have aged, physical stretching has become more and more important. But I have found that getting out of my comfort zone, deliberately engaging respectfully with people who see things differently than I do, and letting go of judgments about others is an important part of the stretch. A practice of accepting and giving thanks for my own brokenness and inadequacies frees me to be more accepting of others. It’s a new practice for me, but when I catch myself being judgmental, I ask myself, “What need are you meeting by judging this other person?” This helps me identify other ways of getting my needs met besides criticism, gossip, or judgments. I still have a long way to go.
And finally, loving service to others and to the life of the community also nurtures joy. Where happiness is about one’s own circumstances, joy is selfless. It calls us out of ourselves in service and as we give of ourselves, we are not diminished, and neither is the joy. What loving service looks like will vary for all of us depending on our age, health, and other circumstances. But nothing ever stands in the way of calling up someone we know to check on them and see how they are doing. A simple thank you to individuals in our lives that we appreciate for the work they do or the personal gifts they share with others takes little time but is healing and uplifting for both the sender and the receiver.
Our world needs joyful people, and we need to encounter the joy in each other. When we choose joy and cultivate this practice in our lives we become a healing and transforming presence for our world.
With gratitude,
Vie Thorgren
Executive Director