September is national suicide awareness month. This is a good time to remember loved ones who have been lost through suicide and to educate ourselves proactively about risks, warning factors and how to help. It’s also an opportunity to reflect on our own quality of self-care, how connected we are to a sense of meaning and purpose in our own lives and the importance of nurturing personal relationships.
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among children and adolescents. As parents and grandparents, we talk with our children about drugs and alcohol, we need to also talk with them about suicide, about deep feelings and about asking for help when they need it.
When we notice family members or friends who seem out of sorts, or more withdrawn or agitated, it’s important to reach out and ask, “It seems like you have a lot going on right now. I care about you. Would you like to talk?” Letting the other person know that you are present to them and that they are important is helpful. Give them a space to share their feelings. Avoid dismissive or minimizing statements like “We all have tough times. It’ll get better.” Thank them for their openness. Offer availability and willingness to help them figure it out. If the person seems at risk, reach out to a crisis line (call 988) or seek professional help directly.
People who attempt suicide are not selfish. They are in a great deal of pain. Their focus is narrowed to their immediate situation and a sense of perspective is lost. Significant research has helped to identify certain risk factors and stressors including traumatic experiences, substance abuse, significant loss, and feelings of hopelessness. We’re also aware of warning signs like isolating, giving away possessions, and talking about being unable to cope. We still cannot predict with certainty, however, who is most vulnerable. Although mental illness is a risk factor for suicide, strong leaders and outstanding students can feel isolated, stressed and burdened.
How we talk about needs and feelings can reduce the stigma to asking for help. We live in an anxiety producing and divisive time. As a society, we need to re-examine the importance of relationships, social investment, and what strength really means. Sometimes we get so caught up in tasks, accomplishment, success, and appearance that we lose ourselves and each other. We can help each other reclaim the power of relationships for societal health.
For helpful resources and interventions:
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention
For personal and familial support systems:
https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Month/
Coming later this month:
Aging as Spiritual Journey with Vie Thorgren. Most Precious Blood Catholic Church, 2200 S. Harrison St., Denver 80210.
September 23; 6:30-8:00 p.m. Prior registration not required.